Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
