So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
