I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
