So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
