i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Success! We fucked roommates!
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