I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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