Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
