our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
