i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
