Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
