god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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