I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
