Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
