Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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