He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize