Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
