he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
