"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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