We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
