I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
