Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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