Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
