I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He better not be in your backpack
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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