Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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