so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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