you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
