i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Randomize
