Yo dont text me then not text me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We are two peas in an std pod
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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