so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
