Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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