Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
All I want is dick and wine.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
