I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
