dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
