fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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