Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
