It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize