Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
