She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
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She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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