Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
