I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
