You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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