After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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