i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
