Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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