I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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