..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
