Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
