How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
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In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral