'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize