you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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