Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
