You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
