it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
