I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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