Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
