Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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