i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
