worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
