my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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