Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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