He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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