Jerry, you need to find god
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
