Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
