Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
