He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
