Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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